Wednesday, July 28, 2010

antwerpen.


i was swimming in a pool
the first time in years
while under the light of the
full moon,

the people who were there,
kept talking about belgium
they were facinated with it,
talking about how the water was
so tainted that you couldn't drink it
and so,
everyone drank beer.
& we all know that belgians
have the best beer -
and chocolate.

i wanted to say,
i once was in love with a belgian
who came to see me and saw me through
the scariest moment of my life
who held my hand and
when the doctors asked who he was
he calmly looked at them and said
'her fiancee.'
and i looked up at him,
i could see it was something he meant,
and also that, it was meant to make
me laugh & i did
although the laughing really hurt

i have never seen anyones eyes
electric blue and full of life
filled with such concern over -
my well being
for the first time i felt
safe -

i wanted to say,
girls, you should really get
yourself a belgian
they speak many languages,
theyre very tall and thin
and they tend to all look
really good (from what i have seen)
and they are really educated
& for the most part they won't hate
you for being who you are

i wanted to say,
get yourself a good belgian lover
and never let him go
hold him tightly at night
and if you are lucky
you will have some of the best sex
that you have ever had in your life
(europeans, you know... they just
do it better....)

instead,
i remained quiet
i stared at the moon,
thought about how we always
were supposed to swim together
and how,
at least with my belgian
i know i have found the one person
who will never fully abandon me
and,

in that moment,
i missed him.
and i thought about
how i saw his doppleganger
while in chicago
&
i longed
for those cold snowy days
when i looked like a raccoon
and how
we laid in bed for a week
doing nothing but exploring
everything about each other.

the moon was over head
and i hoped he could see it
and know how much i missed him,
in that moment.

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