there is this kid that works at the local jimmy johns who always stares me in the eyes when i go in there. i have no idea what his name is, or how old he is (he seems young) but there's this weird electric thing that happens whenever i see him. he's got to be younger because he reminds me of the 20 year old guy i dreamed of when i was well... 20.
i need something, anything, to amuse me. i need to break a heart. is that malicious and wrong? i don't know. the only heart i broke i didn't intend to, i just needed to survive so i left. he's dead. there comes to be a bit of pride involved because i was the only girl to destroy him, whatever that means. he was the one who destroyed girls who fell madly in love with him. i challenged him. and i left.
so this kid, everytime i see him, i think about how i would like to fuck his brains out (god i need sex) and then walk away from it all. i don't know what this is all about. the electricity, i assume. maybe he is smart, maybe he isn't 19. hahaha, yeah fucking right.
i got off work today, got a bit drunk with my boss (well, we drink a decent amount anyway at work) and i met minnie his hen who lays eggs & is prolly the most spoiled hen in all of michigan. i really dug his house, its this old farm house - elegant, full of antiques and awesome random stuff, literature. i love my boss, i love my job. i'm lucky. and for once i have money. by november, when my job ends, i will be able to actually go on a real vacation. like, to somewhere overseas.
bright eyes, i listen to a lot of bright eyes right now.
but im not depressed.
this blog is going nowhere, so i think i am going to go watch the sun set at the beach.
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