a lot to talk about when it involves this but, i dont feel like doing that right now.
regardless to say i am happy and excited and looking forward to building a life with him.
life... is weird.
2. linds is moving here! so not only will i have my twin, but i will also have my one & only friend from college living right in this very town. i cant begin to go on about how thrilled i am about this. i am hoping to move in with her until her lease is up. so that would be from august to october.
3. i spent the night last night with wynn. i had written him off as being retarded. he's not, at all. he's just shy and weird. he's like a little boy in a lot of ways, but it is also adorable. he doesn't have a cruel bone in his body & he is so good to me. he treats me with respect (a shocker im not used to) and always pays for everything (again not used to this) and is... hes sweet. we went out to the pier & watched a bunch of lightning & i was slightly drunk so i was more open than i normally would be. hes so unsure of himself. im trying to get him to like, have some self esteem. it comes from within but it helps if someone believes in you. so, we went back to his house and laid around watching tv & talking. i also found out why the sex was so... basic, which is because for real he has never thought about those sort of things (WHAT?) and, has never had a girl be like... so what do you like, how does this feel, what are your fantasies, ect. he seemed shocked that i actually wanted him to get off & enjoy himself. there is a lot of potiential there, sexually, between us, its just i am going to have to teach him, get him to explore - ect. he's kind of like... a project. but, i slept soundly with him & when i would wake up with a headache he would rub my back and shoulders and neck & kiss me where it hurt. he finally was comfortable enough to start being a smart ass, which was good. i knew he had that in him.
im missing him tonight, although i know this is only going to complicate my life. he knows how i feel about his drinking and how i think he needs to get his shit together. we talked about him actually setting some goals & having someone push him to... grow up & do something with himself.
its just... once t arrives, its going to get complicated. how could it not get complicated? wynn knows all about the situation & knows how i feel - and that, you know, i am committing to no one anytime soon. so thats good. but i dont want to hurt him. i don't want to do that ever.
4. i still have to tell my parents that t is going to be arriving soon. theyre dead set against this but i need to do what i feel is right in my heart & in my soul. they will get over it, and most importantly, we will both move out. this is only temporary.
5. i am happy.
i hate not working, but, i am happy right now.
this is good.
-fin.
No comments:
Post a Comment